Inch’allah. If God wants it. Isn’t this a beautiful thing. Not that I believe in God more than in my mother, myself or the Späti man. We see each other tomorrow! Inch’allah, he answers. That is not passive. It’s not that you won’t try to be there. You will do all you can to get there where you want to be. But, you never know.
As much as you plan, organize, focus, meditate, there still is life. Packed with people, sudden storms and freaked out neighbours. Well, instead of inch’allah, you could plan. Take an agenda. In Holland we love to do these kinds of things. From doctor appointments to a coffee with your dear friend, we plan it all. Carefully and precise. Next week Friday at 3 p.m. Wonderful. If life gets you there smoothly. Not only you cannot really control the outside world, what if next Friday at 3 you don’t feel about seeing your dear friend at all? But you drag yourself there and have one of those organized, pretty pointless conversations. And what if, on your planned way, you meet the love of your life. Not yet recognisable, never seen before, but those eyes.. the energy… Well, no way. No time. By the way, you might even not have seen this love at all, your gaze directed straight and efficiently towards your goal.
Or, your supposed goal. Maybe, life hasn’t one goal. They love to make us believe though. You’re meant for this one particular thing only you can do, your outrageous talent. Once you get it, well, that’s clear. You go straight. Fast and steady. Clear your way. Efficiency counts here. Everyone probably agrees that having a resume showing all your life you worked on this skill to get to this particular dream job, is preferable, rather than having had a zillion dream job excursions. Then, worst case, they say you have been dreaming throughout your entire resume life.
No black and white. Sure. Some focus isn’t bad. Actually, it is the real human endeavor to find your own talents. What is your astonishment? The particular way you see things. Your character could fit some specific world need. But, I wouldn’t use focus. To me, a horse with eye-covers can be really focused, running towards the finish. But, as a human life concerns, I would rather use dedication.
Dedication is open. Open for changes in your Self, in the world around. Nothing is fixed, nothing stays forever. Dedication presumes attentive energy. A dedicated energy and attention. Attention needs listening. Listening to yourself, what are these inner voices. They might be whispering, but they will start screaming if you don’t listen really. I will get that job, work for it really hard. But inside, something mumbles. It needs listening to the others. Others telling their lifes. What they hoped for and wasn’t exactly that. You listen, you learn. You hear what you might later feel yourself. It needs listening to the world in which things change constantly.
Whereas the idea of focus would be great if there would be this one state job to apply for with its specific entry requirements and these specific studies. But what to do in a world where state jobs disappear, most full-time contracts with retirement included fade away? Start-your-own-business-commercials everywhere. A million studies, ‘psychology of management’, a million subjects, ‘bio-engineer software editing course 2'. Sure. A solution could be being more focused, more specialized. Getting overwhelmed by choice, running around doing all or nothing at all, smashed on the couch eating jobcenter–money-pasta, doesn’t seem a wonderful solution to spend life. But dedication involves a vision. A set of ideas you dedicate yourself to. I would rather opt for not figuring out this one specific task or skill, but rather figuring out what do you believe in? What do you think is interesting? What marvels you? What is the way you like doing things? Then dedicate your energy to this vision of life, of love, of work, of learning. Be attentive. Where to put this energy? In an ever changing world, what can now be the shape of your vision? For the moment. The shape could change. But your vision develops. Gets maybe even more precise with time and experience.
I love my friend and certainly I wanna spend time together. I just actually enjoy my friend’s company more while we jam together in the old studios of his uncle, rather than sitting drinking coffee and talking. So let’s meet for a jam. When? Now. Or wait, I just met, you won’t believe, the love of my life. What if I join you for a jam later tonight? What do you think?